It is really starting to sink in….our quints are coming home very, very soon. My little heart is so full of joy and excitement that I think the ‘reality’ of having five babies home hasn’t really ‘scared’ me. There is nothing more that we want than to have our big ‘ol family.. all EIGHT of us.. together under one roof …. one small roof that is, lol. This whole NICU journey has been so different from when we had Blayke… and though we are able to touch, hold and feed our babies….I personally, still miss the full ‘feeling’ of them all ‘being ours’. It STILL doesn’t seem real…I still can’t believe we have all girl quintuplets! There are still moments here and there that make us emotional… where we feel nothing more than blessed to have been chosen to be the Mommy and Daddy to these precious all girl quints, and of course to Blayke too ♥.
One day last week when I was up at the NICU holding Hazel after her feeding….I looked around and it was one of those times where tears just filled my eyes. To the left of me I see Olivia laying all wrapped up in her baby bed (not the incubator), Riley to the right of me sprawled out as usual in her bed, and then next to Riley lay Parker Kate all bundled in her baby bed snoozing away. Tears filled my eyes because at that instant I felt the ‘newborn’ newness…most all the girls at this moment were out of the incubator and in the little beds babies are typically placed in when they are born. It was a moment of joy! They graduated to the baby beds and it was like they were just babies…not NICU babies.
Ava Lane was the first to get the orders to get out her incubator…but later that day she was keeping her temperature right under the minimum and then next thing you know… Hazel Grace and Parker Kate ended up being the first two to get in their new beds.
There are moments filled like that with tears of joy and there was Saturday…a moment filled with tears of ….. ummmm…’scaredness???’..is that a word?? oh well..if it isn’t…it is to me, ha. I received my daily Doctor call with an update on the girls. The update was all good news and then even better news talking about my girls coming home. YAY!! But… after going over all the discharge things that have to be done…I got of the phone and almost immediately… lost it. IT IS GETTING REAL!!!!! I have waited and waited for the discharge days to arrive and now they are approaching. It was an overwhelming moment of… ‘Can I do this???’ . I OF COURSE know God made me for this…made to have these babies and made me to be able to handle this….even though its cray-zay…lol…I really do believe God knows my gifts & strengths and even when I am not strong….I have Him to get me though it. Part of me is scared (..maybe the word is overwhelmed not scared ???)……but…then I ‘look up’ and feel the presence of God all around me. It was one of those moments where I just needed to express my emotions to Buzz …. moments later Buzz is sitting next to me and giving me some encouraging words … my concerns were then turned into strength …‘Ohhh! I KNOW I can do this!!….I just know its going to be challenging’ 🙂 I felt a little more ‘powerful’ after that….but the rest of the day my head was on a mission….I didn’t realize I still needed to do this, that and the other…lol. I was non stop taking things out of boxes, washing things, putting things together….and then thinking…where the heck or we going to put the babies..hahaha!
I know there will be lots of moments that are stressful….but I will take it! Just get me my babies H.O.M.E!! It only takes ONE little moment with all my girls to turn my stress around! Visiting the girls today after church was just what I wanted…and needed. I can not WAIT to get our FIRST complete FAMILY PICTURE!!!
Here are a couple of pictures from today…can you see why my heart was full after we left the hospital?? Such beautiful blessings!! ♥
Closing the blog out tonight with this… ♥