When one gets pregnant with her second child, its pretty typical to not have another baby shower because you more than likely have stuff from your first child. Well… with my second pregnancy….it was a bit of a different scenario. Would we actually be showered with gifts this second go around???
One of the first thoughts Adam and I had when we found out we were going from a family of three to eight was … How are we going to actually afford ‘everything’ we need? Yes, we both had great jobs and can provide for our family just fine…but how could we wrap our minds around providing for 5 more at one time??? We may have all the left over equipment from Blayke… like a crib, carseat, etc… but this doesn’t do much of anything when FIVE babies are coming instead of just one. Did we have some fears, worries, and concerns…of course!..but what started to happen to us was a true work go God.
My whole life I adored kids, babysat all the time and could not wait to be a stay at home mom one day. Well when that time came and we actually had Blayke, 3 months into maternity leave…I wanted to go back to work. Something I never really thought I would do but things change and I did go back to work. Both Adam and I were doing great at our jobs, providing for our family of three and began to live a lifestyle of “what we want, we get”. Though we had some ups and downs through our years with finances, especially when infertility started when trying to have Blayke, we got back ‘on our track’ and got to do the things we wanted to do. This may have been fun for us but I don’t think it was actually what God wanted for us.
After going back to work after having Blayke, I saw how fast this sweet little girl grew and I started to want to be a stay at home mom again with our next baby. When we started to talk about growing our family, we had an idea of what it was going to cost (infertility), so we were starting to prepare for that. I actually started a new job before we got pregnant and I was making DOUBLE my salary and thought ‘wow!! this is awesome!! so much more money! wooh whoo!‘ We were able to pay for infertility without going into debt, save more money each month…but this EXTRA amount of income of course changed a lot in our lifestyle, once again. More money, more fun right..lol. What my heart wanted (to be a stay at home mom) my mind saw ‘more money’ and this was clouding my heart’s direction.
When I started my new job, I gave up a lot to try something new: working close to home and having great insurance was just two instances. But, I really felt led my God to take on the new job that came my way. Little did I know what was to come. Like I mentioned before, when we found out we were having quints….we immediately think…how are we going to afford this? I of course instantly think ‘of course I will not be working anymore’…but was that ‘really’ want I was going to do??? Was I really going to give up this job where I was making so much money to really be a stay at home mom. Because of our lifestyle, I thought there was no way we could live off of just Adam’s income…which of course brought on more stress… how can we do this on ONE income? I had a hard time trying to understand why God led me to take on this new job when He knew quints were in our future and how much easier this pregnancy would have been if I was at my old job….But HE knew what HE was doing.
I wanted to work as long as I could but there was so much stress on my body with this new job…on top of being extremely sick the first 4 months. I actually was wanting to quit work…which was so unlike me! Actually quit the job that was helping us pay for every doctor appointment / special test that needed to be done on a brand new insurance/deductible. (This was scary for sure). I would pray everyday on my drive to work… as I would be pulling over to throw up on the side of the highway (lol…well, I can laugh at that now)… “Please God, help us find a way to do this without my income. I don’t know how it is possible but I don’t know how long my body can take this stress from work…please help show us a way”. Well it is truly amazing to see and feel God work miracles in your OWN life. The end of December came and we decided it was best if I quit work…but how and why now? Well what God provided for us was an unbelievable generous gift from a couple that wanted to provide me income for 6 weeks so I could quit work before, what we thought, was bed rest. THIS WAS MIND AND HEART BLOWING!!! We will forever be grateful for the love this couple has shown us. ♥
And so it began…what we thought we could never do (being on one income)…we are doing. I no longer have a full time income coming in, but we are doing it! We are preparing for our family of soon to be eight on ONE INCOME! I tell everyone, I “know” God can provide during a time of need, but when you “FEEL” His works personally…it changes your heart and perspective on everything.
It is amazing to see how your life can change with just one doctor visit…but it is more amazing to allow God to guide your heart and see the miracles he can provide for you!
God has showered us so many things the last few months…and I will share this with you in my next post.